Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she looked like the before picture.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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