sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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