: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
