I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize