And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
