Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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