I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
