There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
