i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
