it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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