And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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