Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
