All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
