woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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