i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
