My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
please come you make the beer taste better
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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