The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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