I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize