She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she pinky promised me she was 18
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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