Whod you bang
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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