I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
