i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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