Porn is love you can see.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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