i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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