It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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