he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
