Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
