just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
