I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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