I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
