So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize