I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize