they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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