that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
