I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize