Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
