Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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