My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
