Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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