She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
