Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
