i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
