I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
