There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
