dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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