either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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