you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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