So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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