Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
did i walk over a car last night?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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