btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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