This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's official drugs can't kill me
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
