yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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