We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
