How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
