Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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