Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
