Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
