We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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