Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
