thus making me awesome and them whores
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
In America we eat man semen.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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