You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
