He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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