well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
