So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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